Blog

Tony and Ness Banner

Hi and welcome to our blog. We are Tony and Ness and this is our blog about anything we fancy writing about, which mainly consists of  Self-building, Motival pieces, importing, affiliation and more…

Tony and Ness – Building The Dream

Tony and Ness – Building The Dream

  Tony and Ness - Life after Building the Dream!! What happened next?? Did we move in?? Did Charlie quit architecture?       Life on from "Building the Dream" has still been full of up's and downs. More tears, excitement, pain and so so much joy!!...

read more
Paragraph 55 House

Paragraph 55 House

Paragraph 55 House - Let me explain how it is possible to get permission in the countryside   Paragraph 55 House - Have you heard about this clause? Are you trying to gain planning permission outside the building boundary? Therefore, let me explain to...

read more
Affiliation Meaning

Affiliation Meaning

Affiliation Meaning With the internet booming and growing at an alarming rate, people are forever searching for ways to make a quick buck. Affiliate marketing, Affiliation - Are words that you may have heard, but what is the Meaning of Affiliation?  ...

read more
Robots Taking Our Jobs

Robots Taking Our Jobs

Robots Taking Our Jobs - Is your Job Safe? Brace yourselves for a new generation entering the workforce. This time around we are not talking about the humankind. This generation doesn’t eat, sleep or participate in office banter, we’re talking about...

read more
Gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude, that little word….. whats it all about? huh? It’s a funny thing gratitude and something I hear a lot from people is “it is easy to be grateful…..when…..I get the money or my life is easier…etc.” People have the assumption that only rich or...

read more
Follow Your Path – Your Passion

Follow Your Path – Your Passion

Today, we have mixed feelings. A very good friend of ours has decided to leave our SFM family On one hand, we feel extremely sad that Derek is leaving us. Over our time in the SFM we have grown strong friendships with people and Derek is truly one of these...

read more
The 2 P’s

The 2 P’s

Life can seem pretty complicated at times and we are always trying to be the best we can and learn as much as we can. Learning about yourself is always always going to be valuable. Generally, we are the only ones holding ourselves back. Are you guilty of...

read more
The Power of Speech!

The Power of Speech!

Think of your brain as a computer, If you do not give it the correct command or don’t put the right code in, it does not work. The same can be said for your brain and speech. What you say aloud is almost like mini messages you give to your subconscious,...

read more
Thank You for reading.... we are 
tony and ness logo

Want to Chat?

tonyandnesshales@gmail.com

Read more about our story 

Sign up to our Newsletter

Disclaimer

Legal Disclaimer (Its always best said than not) Whilst we are here to help and guide you, individual results will vary. No results can be guaranteed. All the products and services we provide are for educational and information purposes only. All opinions stated are our own and we are not telling you what to do, but sharing our story and what we did. Amongst other things, we are affiliate markers and we earn commissions from products and services that we may recommend. If you choose to become an affiliate yourself, there are some people who will not earn a penny with our products and services because individual results will vary greatly from person to person. We are all individual and results are dependent on effort, determination, hard work, ability to follow directions, mindset and more. Please read our full disclaimer

Gratitude

Gratitude

Gratitude, that little word….. whats it all about? huh?

It’s a funny thing gratitude and something I hear a lot from people is “it is easy to be grateful…..when…..I get the money or my life is easier…etc.” People have the assumption that only rich or successful people can be grateful.

Well, I want to disagree with this, as I do believe it really is possible to be grateful when things are not going your way. Why should your whole outlook change because you struggle to pay for “something” or you can’t but that “treat” you want in life? Some people really do not have the luxuries of either of these, yet we seem to get caught up in our “first world problems”. To be honest, we are lucky to even have the luxury of “first world problems”. Think of ‘others’ who do not even have access to clean drinking water, a home or even food?

Yeah, yeah, I hear you…. but your problems, are your problems and you are not responsible for the starving millions….I do get that?

But have you thought about it from this point of view? Have you tried making light of a bad situation? Do you strive to always make things better for yourself? Are you constantly trying to “better” your life, or do you sit back and “allow” life to lead you? I am sorry to say this, but some people just like to moan about their life, but yet they do not take any action to change this. We were no different and on our journey, path to freedom, enlightenment or whatever you want to call it…. we made a few mindset shifts that totally changed the way we think and view the world.

Gratitude!

But how can I be grateful when things keep going wrong? Hmmm…. that is the question.

A few days ago I was in tears as life seemed really tough. We are privileged enough to be part of an amazing community of support. I asked them… “how can you stay positive and motivated when it feels like everything is crashing around you?”

As positive people, we felt like life was swallowing us up. We were drowning in chaos and I was doing everything in my power to keep my head above water. We have had a pretty turbulent year to be fair. Tony lost his dad to Cancer, just after that, I found out I was pregnant, which is a beautiful thing, it was the busiest point in our life we have ever been in and I felt ill, was sick and extremely tired. We started a self-build, that we had to stop as we had run out of money, we had already spent so much money funding it, that we were struggling to keep afloat. Our house sale would solve our financial problems, but sadly we picked a terrible estate agent who we had a catalogue of problems with, we found buyers backed out of the sale after 8 weeks. We had a loan agreed which was revoked due to Brexit, we were trying every avenue with doors being shut in our face and the final straw was when I cracked my screen on my mac, we received a 4k bill and the boiler broke…. all the same day. We were trying to take on some of the most stressful situations…… Selling a house, building a house and having a baby. Plus running businesses, homeschooling/educating, grieving and more!

So what changed?

Gratitude and perspective. We are still in exactly the same position, but I feel happy and content with it. We had a cry, I smudged (a Native American form of clearing) and I am so grateful for my life. So many other’s could only dream of owning their own house, or self-building, or having a child, having a partner, having 2 children, their health…. wow the list goes on and here is me moaning and crying about it. Be thankful for what you have, have a belief that it will all work out and you too can have some perspective in your life. It is true…. there is always someone worse off. For us, our community is a life saver, that coupled with inspirational books and speakers. It is funny how the message you need to hear can just pop up at the right time.

Think of all the things you are grateful for? Your partner, family, house, job, pet, what makes you happy. Write them down and really think on them. Don’t concentrate on the bad things… they are going to happen regardless. Bad things happen to positive people, it’s just the way you deal with them 🙂

Sometimes in your darkest places…. you are growing roots.

So listen to music if it makes you happy, hey have a cry if that helps. But don’t be a “poor me” person. Life is what you make it and you have the choice to feel happy or sad. The choice is yours?

Thank You for reading.... we are 
tony and ness logo

Want to Chat?

tonyandnesshales@gmail.com

Read more about our story 

Sign up to our Newsletter

Disclaimer

Legal Disclaimer (Its always best said than not) Whilst we are here to help and guide you, individual results will vary. No results can be guaranteed. All the products and services we provide are for educational and information purposes only. All opinions stated are our own and we are not telling you what to do, but sharing our story and what we did. Amongst other things, we are affiliate markers and we earn commissions from products and services that we may recommend. If you choose to become an affiliate yourself, there are some people who will not earn a penny with our products and services because individual results will vary greatly from person to person. We are all individual and results are dependent on effort, determination, hard work, ability to follow directions, mindset and more. Please read our full disclaimer

Follow Your Path – Your Passion

Follow Your Path – Your Passion

Today, we have mixed feelings. A very good friend of ours has decided to leave our SFM family 🙁

On one hand, we feel extremely sad that Derek is leaving us. Over our time in the SFM we have grown strong friendships with people and Derek is truly one of these people. He has been a joy and we have always had a laugh. Sometimes things just don’t work out for people the way they think it will or it just doesn’t seem to be their passion. Where ever your path takes you it should be one of passion.

Why is it that all the famous entrepreneurs of the world are passionate about what they do? 

Obviously, the SFM is not right for Derek and we understand this…personally, it is something we feel extremely passionate about and love the skills we are learning. We feel we have learnt the skills to market, blog, create or advertise any products that we choose or feel passionate about. Our only problem is that we are passionate about so many things…lol! We have an online shop, home education blog, self-build blog and we are building our own brands too.

On our other hand, we obviously want the best for our Derek and if he is not following his passion, his gut feeling or whatever you want to call it, then we want the best for him. His happiness means the most.

Now Derek has felt his calling and he has gone with his gut which is an admiring thing to do. He has the passion and drive to walk away from the comfort of the familiar world and go out there to get something new and something scary. Life is not always a straight road and there will be bumps and hiccups along the way. But if you are doing something you love or following your path, it will always be an enjoyable one.

When life throws lemons at you, make lemonade

Don’t follow the crowd and be the same as everyone else. Take yourself out of your comfort zone, do something different today. Do something you would not usually do. Do something you love, just because you love it. We could all take a leaf out of Derek’s book….. So find your path in life and walk it, crawl it, run along it, but just stay true to yourself and keep your faith.

What would you do if there were not any limitations? 

Thank You for reading.... we are 
tony and ness logo

Want to Chat?

tonyandnesshales@gmail.com

Read more about our story 

Sign up to our Newsletter

Disclaimer

Legal Disclaimer (Its always best said than not) Whilst we are here to help and guide you, individual results will vary. No results can be guaranteed. All the products and services we provide are for educational and information purposes only. All opinions stated are our own and we are not telling you what to do, but sharing our story and what we did. Amongst other things, we are affiliate markers and we earn commissions from products and services that we may recommend. If you choose to become an affiliate yourself, there are some people who will not earn a penny with our products and services because individual results will vary greatly from person to person. We are all individual and results are dependent on effort, determination, hard work, ability to follow directions, mindset and more. Please read our full disclaimer

Is “Fight or Flight” holding you back? – EFT – Tapping

Is “Fight or Flight” holding you back? – EFT – Tapping

Can Tapping help you? EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping works to help release negative energy by tapping on the body’s meridian points. Many “public figures” have claimed tapping has helped immensely including our favourite Wayne Dyer. 
Our “fight or flight” response is your body’s way of telling you something is seriously wrong. For example…..back in caveman times and there is a predator about to eat you……your fight or flight response is activated. It’s your body’s defence mechanism where the adrenal gland realises a hormone to tell your body to fight or flee. The problem is….with the modern day world, there are so many times the “fight or flight” response is being activated, daily for some people due to stress, trauma, injury and so much more. The question is by realising these hormones unnecessary, how much impact does this have on our body? Our minds? Is this holding you back? Do you waste time? Burry your head in the sand? Does your behaviour hold you back? Here is Nick Ortners quick guide to tapping
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XyHxuTG6jRk" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen></iframe>

We are always on a constant mission to try and improve ourselves, mentally and physically…. we were intrigued by tapping. We believe in energy and the power of thought and speech, so why would tapping not work? Below is a video of Nick tapping with members of the audience, one in particular who suffered from fibromyalgia and they all noticed an improvement….but what is the cause of this issue? How many deep layers does this pain go? I know from my osteopath…. lower back pain often comes from issues with the knee’s, so how much of the pain or other issues that people suffer…..come from stress? Our body is amazing at “getting on with life” even with all the toxins, bad diets, lack of exercise etc…. that we put it through. As someone who has suffered from ME (Myalgic Encephalopathy / CFS Chronic fatigue syndrome) and fibromyalgia, this really interested me…..was my fight or flight response the cause? With everything that has happened in our lives, this must have imprinted in our life somewhere along the line. Tap to realise this…why do you sometimes get annoyed for no real reason? My belief is that it brings up old feelings of a previous issue that you have not dealt with and it has been suppressed, ready to surface again. Tapping can be used in all kinds of scenarios such as…..dealing with stress, anguish over a loved one, losing weight, pain, the list really is endless. Basically anywhere there is a blockage or an issue in life can be treated with tapping. Why not give it a try? I have found ‘Tapping” has really helped me to identify issue’s that I did not even know where there. If you believe in the “law of attraction”? Then could a blockage could be stopping you from moving forward. When you are working with the universe, spirit or god…..you find your natural flow. I believe tapping has helped me with this….Its opened me up to notice the signs. Enjoy the video below 🙂 And tap away 🙂

Thank You for reading.... we are 
tony and ness logo

Want to Chat?

tonyandnesshales@gmail.com

Read more about our story 

Sign up to our Newsletter

Disclaimer

Legal Disclaimer (Its always best said than not) Whilst we are here to help and guide you, individual results will vary. No results can be guaranteed. All the products and services we provide are for educational and information purposes only. All opinions stated are our own and we are not telling you what to do, but sharing our story and what we did. Amongst other things, we are affiliate markers and we earn commissions from products and services that we may recommend. If you choose to become an affiliate yourself, there are some people who will not earn a penny with our products and services because individual results will vary greatly from person to person. We are all individual and results are dependent on effort, determination, hard work, ability to follow directions, mindset and more. Please read our full disclaimer

The 2 P’s

The 2 P’s

Life can seem pretty complicated at times and we are always trying to be the best we can and learn as much as we can. Learning about yourself is always always going to be valuable. Generally, we are the only ones holding ourselves back. Are you guilty of the 2 P’s?

Procrastinating and Perfection

Sometimes we have so many things going on in our life….. That I end up procrastinating and I seem to easily stray or get distracted.

Some of the signs that you are a procrastinator

  • Filling your day with “other” things to do rather than the all-important jobs.
  • Reading e-mails when you should be doing other things? Or Facebook?
  • Starting that all important job or task and almost immediately going off to make a cup of tea or coffee.
  • Something you have had on your “To Do” list for a long time, even if you know it’s important, but you just keep putting off.
  • Saying “Yes” to other things that are just not that important and spending your time on these instead of getting on with the things that you really have to do or should do!
  • Waiting till your in the “right mood” or for the “right time”
  • The…. I will “do it tomorrow” mentality, more often than not, tomorrow turns into, days, weeks or even months!

Personally, I now write a list of everything that I want to achieve in a day and it must get done, almost as if my life depends on it.

On the flip slide of this….. The other P rears its ugly head…. Perfection! 

Don’t wait for perfection before you do something either. Many of us (again me included) want things to be perfect before I do it. We often spend more time learning about something in hope of perfecting it than we actually do taking action.

Did you know that Thomas Edison actually used to announce that he would reveal a new invention before he had even finished it. This way… He had to get it finished, he had a deadline to work towards and there was no way he could wait till it was perfect or over complicate matters.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect and you are probably the only person that would ever notice the imperfections. So roll with what you have……. Better to have tried and failed….. Than never to have tried at all! Who knows…. Maybe you won’t even fail? In the SFM, they are always encouraging that whatever we build in life…. It is from strong foundations. We are lucky and grateful to have had their help and guidance.

Thank You for reading.... we are 
tony and ness logo

Want to Chat?

tonyandnesshales@gmail.com

Read more about our story 

Sign up to our Newsletter

Disclaimer

Legal Disclaimer (Its always best said than not) Whilst we are here to help and guide you, individual results will vary. No results can be guaranteed. All the products and services we provide are for educational and information purposes only. All opinions stated are our own and we are not telling you what to do, but sharing our story and what we did. Amongst other things, we are affiliate markers and we earn commissions from products and services that we may recommend. If you choose to become an affiliate yourself, there are some people who will not earn a penny with our products and services because individual results will vary greatly from person to person. We are all individual and results are dependent on effort, determination, hard work, ability to follow directions, mindset and more. Please read our full disclaimer

The Power of Speech!

The Power of Speech!

Think of your brain as a computer, If you do not give it the correct command or don’t put the right code in, it does not work. The same can be said for your brain and speech. What you say aloud is almost like mini messages you give to your subconscious, which is all being processed. Your subconscious will follow the message given.  Speech such as……

I’m not very good at that, We can not afford that, I think it will be ok?, I will try, I hope it goes ok? …. The list goes on……

When you use the above speech, you are telling yourself exactly that! If you say you will try….you are automatically allowing yourself to be able to fail, therefore if it seems hard work, and your subconscious will take the easy route, which is usually not trying very hard as it only has to “Try”.

Top athletes spend years training and visualising what they want. They also speak aloud about their goals. This gives them drive and determination to succeed, yet simple everyday speech in often overlooked.  If you knew that someone was listening to your every word, you would watch what you say….yet people tell themselves negative things all the time without giving it a second thought! Try replacing your language with positivity! Rather than the quotes above, Replace them with ……

I will be the best I can be, when we have the money we will buy….., Everything will be great, I will do….,  It will all be great!

I hope this helps some of you take a step towards positive thought and action. A lot of what we do is programmed from patterns and past experience….you almost live your life on autopilot! Taking steps to change your language, helps tell subconscious that you want to succeed.

Try this….. Get 20 people to ask you how your feeling and you say “Tired and drained”……I am sure that is how you will feel when you’re finished.  Get 20 people to ask you how your feeling and you say “Excellent”……I am sure that is how you will feel 🙂

The law of attraction goes into more depth about this. You attract what you think and feel.

Thank You for reading.... we are 
tony and ness logo

Want to Chat?

tonyandnesshales@gmail.com

Read more about our story 

Sign up to our Newsletter

Disclaimer

Legal Disclaimer (Its always best said than not) Whilst we are here to help and guide you, individual results will vary. No results can be guaranteed. All the products and services we provide are for educational and information purposes only. All opinions stated are our own and we are not telling you what to do, but sharing our story and what we did. Amongst other things, we are affiliate markers and we earn commissions from products and services that we may recommend. If you choose to become an affiliate yourself, there are some people who will not earn a penny with our products and services because individual results will vary greatly from person to person. We are all individual and results are dependent on effort, determination, hard work, ability to follow directions, mindset and more. Please read our full disclaimer